The Universe doesn’t reward desperation.
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You know how disappointing it feels when your heart so deeply desires something that would take a miracle to obtain? When you barely dare hope lest disappointment becomes too great?
That’s where I’m at. My mentor, Martha Beck, is accepting applications for her master coach training program. There are only 12 spots available and they’re all earmarked for certified graduates of her Wayfinder Life Coach Training Program.
If I had the program fee lounging around in my bank account, I’d have applied already (and I’m assuming I’d be accepted). But I don’t. They offer a few partial scholarships, but those are still out of reach.
Sister (or brother or friend), I want this so very badly. But barring a miracle, it’s simply not happening. At least not in 2024.
And then the Universe tempted me. It dangled a job under my nose that pays a lot more than my current gig. At first, I considered that perhaps it was the miracle I sought. But round one of interviews left me suspecting otherwise.
The old me would have put it on a credit card (more like two). But I’m no longer willing to extend myself beyond my means in this way. The overwhelm I’d face by doing this would create an insane amount of stress. No thank you! This is a want – albeit a big one – and not a true need.
Of course I feel disappointed, but I’m also curious. I believe that if enrolling in this training at this point in time is meant to be, the solution will present itself. But if I have to force a solution, e.g. create huge financial strain by putting it on a couple of high-interest credit cards, it’s not meant to be.
This leaves my curiosity piqued on what is meant to be. If not this, then what? Suddenly, alternative paths that I hadn’t yet considered come into view.
While I don’t yet know how things will play out, when I look back on the totality of my life experience I see opportunities unveiled through my greatest disappointments. Sometimes not getting what I thought I wanted most turned out to be an even greater gift.
Knowing this and knowing that I don’t see all of the pieces at play in the Divine’s greater plan, I’m left to the one thing I’ve come to do well:
Maybe I’ll get what I want and maybe I won’t. But either way, I know I’ll be okay. I just need to remember to stay in the present (“the now”), not bypass my yearnings*, and – when I’m ready – get curious about the gift that’s quite possibly wrapped in disappointment.
This is where Wayfinding comes in.
It’s where I’ll use the tools I’ve learned to explore my disappointments, my thoughts, and especially my limiting beliefs. Metaphor, dream analysis, and Byron Katie’s “The Work” are three of my favorite tools.
[Side note: if you’d like to learn more about some of these tools, check out this category of blog posts.]
Wayfinding is always my ticket home. Home to peace and joy. Home to my true nature. Home to a place absent of fear and suffering. It’s my favorite place to be.
That is all.
*By bypassing my yearnings, I’m referring to making excuses for why it’s best that what I wanted didn’t happen while still wishing it would.