I coined this phrase after reading a passage in Martha Beck’s book “Finding Your Way in a Wild New World”. The gist of the passage is that individuals choosing to reside in a state of Oneness and unattached love have a nearly inconceivable power to change the world. At least that’s how I interpreted it.
Since I’m taking credit for coining the phrase love dousing, I’m going to define it as drenching others in pure, unattached love.
The operative words are ‘pure’ and ‘unattached’. In other words, we’re not talking about romantic love or any of its derivations (that aren’t actually about pure love anyway). Nor are we talking about loving others so that they’ll love us back. So to clarify, this post is vehemently not about smothering or showering unwanted affection on others.
When I douse someone with love, I see the beauty in who they truly are at the soul level. [Note: depending on the person, this beauty may be so deeply hidden behind their ‘ugly’ that it’s a huge leap of faith to believe that there’s a beautiful, buried soul somewhere. But my own truth tells me that there always is…for what it’s worth.]
When I douse someone with love, I simply extend my unconditional love and compassion to them. I rarely say anything as I’m doing it. I just do it.
Because this is pure, unattached love, I don’t expect or even want anything in return. Nor do I do it because it’s a virtuous thing to do. I do it because I AM love.
And my mission on Earth is to love YOU with every beat of my heart.
One thing I’ve noticed is that when I douse others – including complete strangers – with the love that resides in my heart for all of humanity and beyond, they respond in kind. Sister, it’s so freaking beautiful to witness! And it can be a bit euphoric…a high sourced purely from love.
This matters because humanity’s current trajectory seems hell-bent on self-destruction. Going back to Martha Beck’s passage, I’m reminded to never underestimate the power of a small-yet-growing populace that’s committed to being the change, to loving the whole of humanity, and to reversing our current destructive trajectory. Love dousing may not be enough, but without it seems that we’re most definitely fucked…and so it behooves us to at least try, doesn’t it?
In 2022 I had a vision. This vision was very detailed and involved gathering women in sacred community in one of Chicago’s neighborhoods and, eventually, beyond. The byproduct (and ultimate intention) of these gatherings is an elevated collective consciousness of humanity steeped in love. This vision wasn’t a daydream; it was literally a roadmap handed to me for how we are going to save humanity and change our relationship with Mama Earth.
That vision was and remains freaking powerful! I mention it here because it starts with one person who’s willing to love from the depths of their heart. It starts with YOU.
Simply put, YOU, dear sister, have the power to reverse the seemingly doomed trajectory of humanity by choosing to douse all whom you encounter (and even those you don’t) with pure, unattached love.
Will you? Will you at least try?
How to love douse
Every blog post inviting you to do something ought to also offer an instruction manual. What follows are my suggestions for how to love douse. Know that this is not exactly the way I do it because I simply do it. If that makes sense. If you want to ‘just do it’ without getting all fancy with meditation and visualization, by all means skip this section!
But if you’d like some guidance, two options follow. Know that you can do them telepathically or in-person. One of the most potent ways to do them is to make eye contact as you do. Yes, it can feel awkward at first, but please consider trying it!
Begin by deepening your breath and extending your exhalations. Once you’re feeling sufficiently calm and serene (this may take a few minutes of conscious breathing), envision your heart space as a glowing orb of light that – with every beat of your heart – radiates a bit further outward.
Now, recognize this ever-expansive field of light as being pure love…the kind of love that’s not attached to a romantic partner but is instead truly unconditional…for example, the love you’d feel for a young, vulnerable child.
As this field of love and light expands, envision it drenching everyone in its path. Now – here’s the key – see if you can drop into a state where you truly feel this love emanating from the depths of who you are. See what happens when you do. Your energy will likely shift. Just try it and see what happens.
That’s it! You can do this during meditation, while you’re out and about, whatever. It may take a little practice to drop into this heart space, but once you do it can become second nature. At least it has for me.
*If you’d like to listen to a meditation I recorded a while back to help you enter into a compassionate heart space, click here. It’s free!
Another practice I’ve been doing on and off since at least 2017 is to “see into the heart” of another and to infuse their heart with my love; it’s to recognize the pure love and beautiful soul we each possess and then amplify it. [Again, this includes people who do shitty things. I believe that there is loved buried somewhere, deep below their muck, they’re ugly, their pain, their demons…]
So with every person I encounter within a window of time, I practice “seeing their soul” and love dousing it.
I’m talking about the woman in the car stopped across from me at a traffic light, the stranger walking next to me in the crosswalk, the cashier at CVS, my boss…everyone! If I can make eye contact with this person as I’m doing it, all the better. The eyes are the gateways to the soul, after all.
Note that this practice can be energetically intense, so if you try this I recommend limiting yourself initially to short durations so that you don’t overload your system.
A final disclaimer
In case it needs to be said, I have very solid boundaries around energy vampires, narcissists, and other ‘toxic’ people. Nonetheless, these people make fantastic love dousing targets! Honestly, it’s changed for the better – and in a huge way! – my ability to engage (or disengage, as the case may be) with them.
The key is that this is an energetic practice rather than a physical one. I’m not opening the door to be manipulated. If love dousing a particular person is triggering to you for any reason, don’t do it.
That is all.