The gain happens when you transform every experience into personal growth..When you go through something terrible, and you frame the experience in the gain, then life is happening for you.

-Dr. Benjamin Hardy

confident woman with self-worth

Like many of my recent posts, this one is repurposed from my weekly newsletter.

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Theme 1: Ask boldly for what you want

Theme 2: Swapping victimhood for ownership

I was buying bananas the other day when I overheard a preteen boy say to his friend, “Man (more likely it was “Bruh”) I’m never going to find it.” 

Turns out the kid had just lost $1.

His friend replied, “You just gotta believe in yourself! Believe in yourself!”

That was not what I expected to hear, and it about blew me away.

Now, I don’t know if this kid’s unabridged optimism and belief in his friend will manifest the lost dollar, but DAMN! If I’d had a dollar on me, I would have assisted the Universe in making it happen. 

And this got me thinking about how…

The Universe so often delivers when we boldly ask for what we want.

Recently, I’ve been boldly asking God (the Universe, whatever) to help me tap into new sources of clients for my Wayfinding coaching business.

After maybe a week or two of making the same ask, I received an email from a partner at the largest family law firm in the country inquiring as to whether I’d be interested in collaborating with his firm. 

Um, yes please?!

It turns out – and perhaps to no surprise – that clients of divorce attorneys could often use a bit of help and support when it comes to rebuilding their lives.

I’d never even considered the possibility of such a collaboration in the past, but our conversation changed that.

Nor was it lost on me that one of the most significant transformations I’d made in my own life occurred when I was sued for custody of my daughter back in 2013. 

You see, that lawsuit left me feeling so absolutely powerless, broken, and full of despair. But it also ignited a fire deep within me, and so rather than stay in that awful place of victimhood I chose otherwise. I (re)chose to reclaim ownership of my life experience.

Had that not happened, I probably wouldn’t have become a life coach who writes lengthy email newsletters to you beautiful sisters every Wednesday. That decision and the steps that followed are truly responsible for radically transforming my life. [If you want a bit of the backstory, check out ​Era 4​ of the My Story posts.]

Back to my potential new collaboration…

I don’t know if this potential collaboration will yield anything – we’re still exploring things – but regardless of whether or not it does, my prayer has been answered; I have a new avenue of opportunity to be of deep service to others.

To help others who are in a truly tough place in their lives transition from being a victim (which is truly a hellish place to be) to being an owner of their life experience.

This is the same work that I’ve done on myself and with clients. It’s work that truly does serve everyone.

And now back to those boys at the grocery store…

I don’t know if those boys found their missing dollar. But that boy who told his friend to “just believe in [him]self” truly embraces the ownership spirit.

I’m telling ya, that kid has figured out what a lot of adults never do. May he never forget what I heard him say.

That is all.