guiding circles
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overview
this guide was originally published in late 2023 or early 2024. it was last updated in early 2026.
hello, my sister, brother, or friend.
i’m both honored and humbled that you chose to entrust me as a source of circling wisdom. this guide is the byproduct of many conversations i’ve had with soul sisters, yoga teachers, professionals, and others like you who’ve dropped into my dms seeking wisdom and guidance from my own lived experience. it’s filled with things i wish i’d known when i began calling women’s circles. may it serve you well.
this is a simple guide that’s intended to serve as inspiration as you call your own circles. circling isn’t rocket science and does not need to become an overwhelming endeavor. but if you want your circle to be more sacred than social, less prone to fissures, and deeply impactful for your participants, i invite you to devote some attention to the suggestions in this guide.
about me
as of this guide’s latest revision (early 2026), i’ve been facilitating women’s circles around my fire pit, via zoom, and in my living room for four years. i’ve also facilitated many 12-step recovery circles during a seven-year period that began in 2004, and my participation in sacred circles guided by leaders of indigenous communities in both arizona and minnesota dates back to 1999.
when i first created this guide, i was facilitating a monthly sacred sister full moon circle, which was a free, in-person offering to the women who lived in my chicago neighborhood. currently, i’m focusing my energy on the paid membership circle i’ve been offering since 2024, and i have plans to overhaul my on-demand circle facilitation course.
guiding principles
when i called my first women’s circle, i just googled how to do it. and i must have done something right, as every sister who attended that first circle came back!
later, i took some trainings and read some books, with mixed results. i can tell you definitively that while i found gems in each of these resources, you absolutely don’t need a training to start calling your own circles. in fact, the circles i facilitate are uniquely ‘mine,’ despite the trainings i’ve taken and the research i’ve done.
i share this to emphasize that (1) you are your own authority; and (2) there’s no right or wrong way to call a circle. that said, i’d like to offer you some wisdom from my own lived experience.
a few don’ts
don’t try to make your circle perfect. doing so will negatively affect your energy.
don’t try to impress others by being performative. smudging and praying to the directions, casting a circle, dressing ethereal, etc. are all beautiful things! but if they aren’t practices you’ve truly made your own and are a walking embodiment of, they’ll come off as performative. be yourself, and only offer practices that you ‘own’.
don’t try to pack a ton of things into your circle. less is more.
a few invitations
collectively read your circling agreements near the beginning of every circle.
make collective sharing the focal point of your circle by dedicating at least half of the total time to it.
allocate equal time for each and every participant to share, and recognize that each sister’s share may present as either words or silence.
consider yourself to be a circle facilitator rather than a circle leader. this will shift how you show up and reduce power dynamics.
on holding space
holding space is a critical element of all circles where sharing is present. when we hold space for another, we’re doing more than just being quiet. when we hold space, we listen without mentally formulating a response, judging the sharer, or becoming distracted. there are nuances, of course, but if you focus on doing these three things, your circles will be all the more impactful.
holding space well is truly an art…and a skill that most of us would benefit from developing. it allows people to feel truly seen, heard, and witnessed. and, it’s one of the most powerful gifts you can give someone—anyone and in nearly any situation—so if you want to guide impactful circles, don’t gloss over this step!
it is beyond the scope of this guide to cover it in as much depth as it deserves, so i encourage you to educate yourself on how to do it well. the art of holding space by heather plett is a fantastic resource that i highly recommend.
this all being said, i encourage you to not let a lack of training on how to hold space prevent you from calling circles. most circles i’ve sat in were facilitated by people who weren’t trained in how to do this well— recall that there’s more to holding space than being silent during a share!—and yet they were still powerful circles.
on creating brave spaces
sharing circles aren’t necessarily going to be trauma-informed, as traumas can surface during a share, people can get triggered by just about anything (not just ‘big’ topics), and conflict can ensue. so, i’ve gotten away from claiming that the circles i facilitate are ‘safe’ spaces and instead refer to them as ‘brave’ spaces…and i invite you to do the same.
however, we can do our best to mitigate these possibilities by using trauma-informed and/or invitational language from a place of empathy and sensitivity.
for example, during a guided meditation or centering exercise, you might say "i invite you to close your eyes, if it feels safe. if it doesn’t, no worries…” instead of “now, close your eyes.”
there is nuance with this (like everything!). the intention is to ensure that participants know that they retain personal agency, and when we invite (rather than tell) them to take an action (with the option to not take it), we foster this.
when someone gets triggered…
if someone does get triggered by something that you or another participant says or does, the best guidance i can offer is to respond with humility rather than to react defensively. one way to do this is to ask how you and/or the group can best support them both in this moment and after the circle closes.
on defining your circle’s purpose
knowing your purpose in calling a circle is essential. for example, do you want to emphasize building community, making collective decisions, facilitating transformation, or something else? the following are some examples of sharing circles:
a community-building circle is going to include some sort of social element. the circles i facilitate are sacred and structured, but once the circle closes we continue to gather. that’s where community building really comes in!
a circle that emphasizes collective decision-making can be incredibly powerful…and incredibly frustrating, depending on the intentions and mindsets of the participants, as well as the skill of the facilitator. this guide doesn’t focus on such circles, which generally require additional facilitation skills.
a circle that facilitates healing or transformation offers participants an opportunity to expand their consciousness and way of showing up in the world. these circles require structure, well-defined agreements, and a facilitator who isn’t performative, shares from a place of integrity and humility, and embodies the transformation that they’re guiding.
of course there are other kinds of circles, but these are perhaps the most common i’ve participated in and have facilitated.
on creating agreements
an agreed upon structure provides the foundation for a circle that stays focused and feels sacred. a circle without structure is all but guaranteed to turn into either a social event or one where a few voices dominate.
structure doesn’t just happen on its own or by the intent of the facilitator; it happens through deliberate creation. if you don’t vocalize your circle’s structure and own your role as facilitator, participants will—at best—look to you in a sort of “follow the leader” mentality. at worst, your circle will fall apart.
the way i introduce structure is to include the collective reading of our circling agreements near the beginning of each and every circle i facilitate. this takes a full seven minutes. and then i’ll ask participants if they would like to add any agreements. occasionally someone does.
these agreements include mutual expectations surrounding confidentiality, how sharing happens, and what holding space for each other looks like in practice. we also address the possibility of being triggered and that we are creating brave (not safe) spaces. as facilitator, it is your responsibility to prepare these agreements and be ready to step in and remind participants of them if they aren’t being honored.
on formatting circles
newer circle facilitators often have a tendency to cram too many things into their circles. out of curiosity, i attended a 2-hour circle a few years back that included yoga, pranayama, meditation, collective sharing, and a workshop element with journaling for a group of at least 10 women!
the facilitator is a beautiful human who is being called to share her gifts with others, but it was just way too much to pack into two hours.
i’ve done the same - especially when I started offering virtual circles - and i’m here to tell you that less is truly more.
in my lived experience, the most powerful circles are those that prioritize collective sharing. this is such a powerful element that I now dedicate more than half of every circle’s time to it, and i encourage you to consider doing the same (depending on your circle’s purpose, of course).
additionally, the circles i facilitate most often include a grounding meditation, a reading, an optional sharing prompt, and a simple closing ritual. and occasionally, i’ll facilitate circles that include a journeying meditation in lieu of a reading, or something similar.
now that we’ve explored what i believe to be some of the most critical elements of gathering women in circle, i’m going to share the exact format i use for the majority of the circles i facilitate.
a sample circle format
the in-person circles i facilitate generally run 1.5 to two hours and are capped at 8-10 participants. the cap ensures that each sister receives equal time to share—at least 5 minutes (though i’ve found that 7 minutes is the sweet spot!)—and noting that i also share.
there are ways to manage larger circles—like dividing the circle for the collective sharing piece—but let’s assume that your circle is limited to 10 participants.
sample format
welcome and brief intros (3m)
grounding and centering meditation (5-7m)
collective reading of our circling agreements (7-8m)
reading based on the theme (4-7m)
brief reflection and stating the (optional) sharing prompt (2m)
“our circle is now open.”
collective sharing (7m per sister)
“our circle is now closed.”
burn-and-release ritual (10m)
short popcorn-style debrief (a few minutes)
following the debrief, people are free to either leave or continue to gather. once the first person stands up to go, i invite a group hug to those who’d like to participate (everyone generally does, but using invitational language is important).
final thoughts
this is a high-level guide, and we didn’t explore some important elements and issues such as avoiding engaging in cultural appropriation, curating a powerful experience, writing your circling agreements, etc. but again—this isn’t rocket science! i encourage you to schedule your first circle now. you will do great, and it will be a meaningful, beautiful experience for those who attend.
and with that, if you’d like to go further, consider the following recommendations.
want a deeper dive?
explore my circling-related blog posts.
check out my current offerings on circle facilitation, including my course on circle facilitation, membership circles, intensive short-term circling containers, and more.
join a circle! while most of my circles have historically been in-person, I plan to begin offering more virtual circles.
that is all.
thank you for reading! if you’d like to learn more about me (kristi amdahl), la que sabe (she who knows), and my offerings, please mosey on down to my about page. thanks!
