Five weeks ago, I moved in with my boyfriend. He recently bought a bungalow in Chicago, and what was once a household of two became a household of five.It’s what I wanted and let me be clear – I adore the hell out of him – but it’s caused my stubborn AF inner control freak to nearly lose her mind.

I’ve known since I survived my final suicide attempt that I had a story to share (era 1). My discovery of Krishnamurti’s teachings and how that led me to give up nearly everything to pursue a life of purpose solidified this awareness (era 2). After working with a mentor for seven years and transforming my life with her wisdom (era 3) followed by the deep personal growth I experienced in era 4...

Welcome to the third era of my life. On Christmas Eve, I found out that I was pregnant. I had no money or job, and my family was over 1,000 miles away. I was living with six or seven activists and a dog in a duplex under less-than sanitary conditions. I was receiving public assistance and had no idea what to do...

In fall of 1998, I transferred to Purdue’s main campus and got involved with a student environmental advocacy group (EA) because their flyer promoted a campout, and I dig camping. I was also taking a philosophy class, which I found fascinating, and which led me to pick up a copy of Think on These Things by Jiddu Krishnamurti. I cannot overstate the impact that this single book has had on my life.

...I was again admitted into the psychiatric hospital. And, I found out that I was pregnant. I was an absolute disaster...During my last session with my psychiatrist I was told that he was pleased with my “progress” and that as long as I stayed on my cornucopia of meds forever I might be able to live a “somewhat normal” life. Are you fucking kidding me?!

I remember a time when my tribe gathered monthly in a sacred moon circle illuminated by candlelight. Sometimes we'd tell stories, other times we'd sing...We entered the sacred American Indian sweat lodge together, and when the heat became too blistering to handle, we prayed harder and harder to Mother Earth…