I had my last drink on December 25, 2022. The fact that this is newsworthy is part of what makes this post vulnerable. And, the fact that I'm publishing this post eight days later is what lands it in the "my most vulnerable post to date" category.Today, I shared a post on Instagram and Facebook and also a reel about it. Given the response I've received, I decided to write this post.

I’ve known since I survived my final suicide attempt that I had a story to share (era 1). My discovery of Krishnamurti’s teachings and how that led me to give up nearly everything to pursue a life of purpose solidified this awareness (era 2). After working with a mentor for seven years and transforming my life with her wisdom (era 3) followed by the deep personal growth I experienced in era 4...

Welcome to the third era of my life. On Christmas Eve, I found out that I was pregnant. I had no money or job, and my family was over 1,000 miles away. I was living with six or seven activists and a dog in a duplex under less-than sanitary conditions. I was receiving public assistance and had no idea what to do...

In fall of 1998, I transferred to Purdue’s main campus and got involved with a student environmental advocacy group (EA) because their flyer promoted a campout, and I dig camping. I was also taking a philosophy class, which I found fascinating, and which led me to pick up a copy of Think on These Things by Jiddu Krishnamurti. I cannot overstate the impact that this single book has had on my life.

...I was again admitted into the psychiatric hospital. And, I found out that I was pregnant. I was an absolute disaster...During my last session with my psychiatrist I was told that he was pleased with my “progress” and that as long as I stayed on my cornucopia of meds forever I might be able to live a “somewhat normal” life. Are you fucking kidding me?!