I don’t like it when my boundaries are challenged.
Being spiritually-grounded is pretty easy for me when nothing rocks my boat. But when someone does something that I feel isn’t right, it’s a helluva lot harder.
This happened yesterday. It was a relatively minor slight and involved a few dollars, but it left me feeling violated. The action was, in my mind, unethical because it grossly pushed the limits of a preexisting agreement. I had to make a decision: do I resist what happened, or do I let it go?
That’s when fear and self-righteousness crept in. If I let it go, will it happen again? And again? Suddenly, I was imagining worse case scenarios of repeated boundary violations…all because someone tried to screw me out of a few dollars.
Is there anything more poisonous to the spirit than self-righteousness?
I felt profound dis-ease. Nonetheless, I decided to ride the wave (I’ve also blogged about this here) and let myself experience the boundary violation without seeking a solution. It felt icky. But I knew that if I didn’t fight it, it would pass. And, it did.
A few moments later, I felt a massive warmth enshroud me. I felt at peace. And, I felt compassion rather than disdain for that person.
I recognized that I was being given yet another opportunity to grow my heart. This person obviously felt justified in doing what he did, and the cost of me “being right” isn’t worth the serenity I’d lose in going to battle. At least not now. If it continues to happen, I may feel the need to address it.
But for now, I’m going to ride the wave, wish for him the same things that I wish for myself, and relax. And, I’m going to make a greater effort to see this issue from his eyes, without self-righteous judgment.