Love, Part 1

Despite this site’s alleged focus on compassion and love, I haven’t said much about either up until now.

Most of my posts are inspired by some sort of internal struggle that I’ve been dealing with. In fact, I’ve pretty much treated this blog like an online journal.

The downside to this is that I don’t really share much about the “ordinary” everyday stuff – the stuff that both drives and reflects my entire existence.

The stuff that defines the essence of who I am, of who we all are at our core.

Compassion. Love. Light.

The more layers of the proverbial onion that I’ve peeled back over the years (but especially during the past nine or so months), the more I get to know myself.

My heart has been radiating love left and right for no reason other than simply because that’s what hearts do when they are free from fear.

Surrendering fear to love…

Ever since my last romance ended (you can read it here), when things would get tough, I would surrender my feelings to the Universe or one of God’s many avatars. Immediately I felt better. I felt loved.

Thankfully, I’m doing well now (after all, it was a short-lived romance). Now, I just love the guy for being the beautiful, amazing person that he is. Sometimes this love has a romantic edge to it and when it does, I simply redirect it to the Universe. Doing this keeps me free from yearning for what isn’t, for enjoying our friendship for what it is, and for embracing an authentic, non-attached love.

You know, the last two paragraphs could have just as easily been written about my ex-husband. I loved him with my whole heart and still do. But, the love we now share transcends the romantic love that we once shared. I see a cosmic love in his eyes when he looks at me, and I feel it in his heart when he embraces me.

Please understand what it is that I’m actually saying and not saying, though, because it’s important.

The love that I’m talking about isn’t the attached, obsessive, and sometimes painful “I love you” love that we throw around after a month or two of intense dating. Rather, it’s the love that comes from experiencing a partner’s inner radiance…it’s actually quite hard to articulate what this love is!

If I were to date again, my future partner need not be threatened in any way by these loves. In fact, I’d be attracted to my future partner all the more if he shared with me his own stories of such love.

It may not be the norm in our culture to embrace love in this way, but neither does our culture provide a great metric for how to live a beautiful life filled with love.

So, I’m just going to keep on loving and loving and loving my past and future partners because, well, it just lights my heart up.

How do you love?

Kristi

Free spirit. Seeker of truth. Lover of all. Embracer of uncertainty. Taker of no shit.

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